Not Your Average Prophecy
by Fluttering Phalanges
Summary: Chloe is quite certain she's seen it all. Her partner, and now boyfriend, is the actual Devil himself. She's got a demon of a roommate, both figuratively and literally. And of course you can't forget to throw in Lucifer's angel of a brother, Amenadiel. But when Los Angeles' favorite detective becomes pregnant, everyone is in for a ride.
1. Prologue

**So I finally decided to give a shot at writing a Lucifer fanfic. For those who follow me on tumblr, you know of my Deckerstar!Baby gifset series. In honor of that, I welcome you to the official baby story! With that in mind, here goes the introduction! Hope you enjoy!**

 _Then I saw in the right hand of him who was seated on the throne a scroll written within and on the back, sealed with seven seals. And I saw a mighty angel proclaiming with a loud voice, "Who is worthy to open the scroll and break its seals?" And no one in heaven or on earth or under the earth was able to open the scroll or to look into it. -Book of Revelation_

 **Prologue**

For the umpteenth time that week, Chloe woke up to the all too familiar wave of nausea. It was, in a way, a crude alarm clock of sorts, except there was no snooze button that she could hit. She tried everything to settle the figurative storm in her gut: curling up into a ball, trying to fall back asleep… Hell, she even tried to ignore it all together, but it had been in vain. Every attempt. And her efforts always concluded with a hand clasped tightly over her mouth, trying to keep the rising bile at bay as she rushed into the bathroom to empty what little contents occupied her stomach.

Just her luck. Of course it would be her who'd get sick. But with what, she didn't exactly know. The stomach flu maybe? Dan had caught that last week and, for the sake of Trixie's health, Chloe didn't object in the least bit at his request for her to take their daughter despite it was his weekend with her. Perhaps it was a bad case of food poisoning? Lucifer always did warn her about getting those damn sandwiches from the department's vending machine.

Her hands, clammy from sweat, shakily gripped the sides of the toilet seat. The bile burned the back of her throat as she dry heaved, head completely aching from everything by this point. God, how she craved to be put out of her misery. If there was a list of the worst illness side effects, puking had to at least be in the top ten. Maybe five. Right now, for her, it was one. And it clearly lived up to its place.

"Hey," Maze's voice called out, her fist knocking much louder than need be on the other side of the door. "Are you almost done in there? You're not the only one living here. I need to use the bathroom too."

"Can you just give me a minute," Chloe responded weakly, still hunched over the toilet. "Please?"

Maze huffed, her irritation not muffled by the thin walls which separated the bathroom from the hallway. With purposely heavy steps, she stalked away leaving Chloe, who was very much thankful, a moment to recollect herself. Or rather, as best as she could. Maze was quite an unusual roommate-even without taking the fact that she was an actual demon into consideration.

For the most part, whether it was unintentional or not, she was more so concerned about herself than others. Which meant that if she decided the detective had used up her restroom time, Chloe wouldn't be surprised in the least bit if the Devil's right hand woman smashed and splintered her way through the door. So the LAPD officer pushed herself upright, trying to fight through the dizziness that engulfed her head. The sour taste of bile and the uncomfortable stickiness brought on by sweat only added onto the pile of reasons her day was already shitty. But for the sake of the bathroom door, she decided to take care of her cleanliness after Maze had finished with whatever it was she wanted to do.

"You look like hell."

Maze's comment wasn't even snide in the least bit as Chloe passed her on the way to the kitchen. Actually, it came out almost as if the demon was truly being sincere. Not that being described as looking like crap was a good thing, it was more so the fact the other woman noticed her disheveled state and did not mock her for it. She merely nodded in response, moving towards the cabinet to get a glass for water. God was she thirst.

"You should just play hooky," the demon simply stated. "The dead don't have schedules to keep up with." She paused, a smile playing on her lips. "For the most part."

"No," Chloe mumbled, running her hand through her hair. "No, I'm fine."

She ultimately decided to forgo showering, feeling just shitty enough to the point where she didn't care what other people thought of her appearance. Her mouth was still sour when she entered her office and, though she personally couldn't tell, she wouldn't be shocked if her smell was far from pleasant. Screw the flu. Professionalism be damned. Chloe's gut twisted as she sat down, and for a moment, the fear that she'd spew all over her desk popped into her mind. But she doesn't. Thank Christ for that. And she drew her focus to the various piles of paper strewn across the table.

"If I didn't know any better, I would assume you went out drinking last night." Lucifer stood in the doorway, the ever present cocky smile playing on his lips. "But your idea of fun centers more around watching some silly movie and indulging on cheap popcorn." His grin widened and for some reason, Chloe felt the urge to sock him hard in the face. "Unless you partook in something spontaneous and failed to invite me."

"Wheel of Fortune was on," and she didn't need to look at Lucifer to know he was rolling his eyes. "That and a rerun of The Price is Right."

"Bloody hell," Lucifer shook his head. "We really do need to work on your tastes in entertainment. As your significant other, it is my duty to not allow you to bore yourself to death."

"I sure feel like death," Chloe muttered, causing Lucifer's smirk to fade. "This stomach thing hasn't gotten any better. You're going to want to avoid being in close proximity to me. Trust me, you don't want to get whatever this is."

Now he had this look of worry about him. If stares could burn, the intensity of Lucifer's eyes studying her body would've left her in a crisp of black ashes. She annoyed by this. It was a ridiculous thing to be irritated about, but right now, the last thing she needed was for her partner to play Dr. Devil-the one that wasn't a role in their sexual roleplays. Chloe was independent. Always had been. And the thought of having someone hover over her due to something as simply as a little fever was less than ideal.

"Stop looking at me like that," she frowned. "I'm fine. I should've said anything."

"Perhaps you should go to a-"

"I'm fine," she nearly snapped, a tone she knew she would later regret using. "I don't need a doctor."

He doesn't push the idea any further after that. Instead, he sat close by as she scanned page upon page of paperwork. It was a slow day and nothing noteworthy had come up that required any sort of fieldwork. Chloe felt Lucifer's eyes remain fixated on her through the entire few hours it took to process things. He was worried, and deep down that meant a lot. But right now, she felt so awful physically that the mere aspect of him coddling her or showing any sign of affection could've easily set her off the edge.

"Let me at least drive you home," he nearly pleaded when the detective finished and stood from her chair. "I don't like the thought of you driving like this...Well, by that I mean, you know...sick."

"Lucifer," Chloe sighed, exhaustion heavy in tone. "I appreciate your concern. Really, I do. But I'm fine. Look," she met his gaze, noting that irritating, secretly adorable look he gave whenever anything wrong involved her. "I'm fine. I'll text you when I get home. Go to Lux. You have that party thing to host tonight."

"College graduation students from their respective sorority and fraternity houses," he corrected. "But I could easily have Maze or someone else cover-" Chloe's frown deepened and Lucifer sighed in defeat. "Call me if you need anything, yes?"

"Okay," her voice lacked promise, but it seemed ligament enough for the Devil to buy it. "Go have fun, okay? I'll see you tomorrow. We're still on for date night?"

"Yes," he agreed, seeming to perk up. "I have cleared all of my appointments for bringing in new Hell occupants just for you."

"I'm honored," she smirked. "Have fun tonight, okay?"

She could tell he wanted to kiss her and she'd be lying if she didn't admit she wished the same. But she was sick. Infecting Lucifer would only make things worse-trying to solve a case with two vomiting, coughing detectives wouldn't exactly be ideal. So she shoulder bumped him. Why the hell she did that was a question she asked herself immediately after doing so. Lucifer gave her an odd expression, but returned the motion nevertheless. He never questioned her quirks. God she loved him.

It was drizzling when she made it out to her car. Quickly, as to protect what work she was bringing home with her, Chloe tossed the bag of briefcases onto the passenger seat. By some miracle, her nausea had subsided a little and for the first time that day, the idea of actually eating something wasn't an immediate turn off. Actually, the thought of eggs and toast sounded quite wonderful. She'd need to run by to the store to grab a new dozen, but it was on the way home.

Turning on the radio, she scanned the channels to find a station Lucifer would make fun of her for liking. Who was he to decide what was or wasn't good music anyway? She breathed through her nose and allowed her fingers to drum against the steering wheel as she cruised towards the local grocery store. Maybe she'd buy a tub of chocolate chip cookie dough too. That sounded surprisingly delicious.

The parking lot had a decent amount of open spaces which Chloe attributed to people not wanting to go out in the less than pleasurable weather. Pulling up into a spot that was reasonably close to the front entrance, she hurried inside. Eggs and cookie dough, that was all she needed, and without Trixie in tow to ask for a plethora of other things, Chloe easily located the items.

It was only when she was making her way towards the checkout line that she found herself pausing in front of the pharmaceutical section. It was an odd feeling. This sudden thought that she needed something she previously hadn't even considered. Glancing around, which she knew was stupid because she had no reason to act suspicious, she walked over to a section off to the side. There were rows of them. All different brands. All different ways of telling results.

For a brief moment, Chloe hesitated, fingers barely brushing against the colorful box. Maybe she was being dumb. That these silly conclusions her mind was considering were just that. Silly. But for some reason the urge only grew and, after she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, she snatched the object from its spot on the shelf and hurried to check out.

Maze wasn't home by the time Chloe got there, juggling her purchases as she went about unlocking the door. That made things easy. The last thing she needed was for Maze to find out about something that most likely was nothing at all. She put the bags on the counter, placing them second in priority to the little box that accompanied her into the bathroom.

Multiple times Chloe tested and retested the door's ability to lock, which only fed into her paranoia. Finally, after being certain no one could barge in, Chloe turned the box around and carefully read through each line of instruction. Conducting the actual test itself was the easy part. Pregnancy tests weren't exactly made to be that confusing. The most difficult aspect was the waiting itself.

 _C'mon._ She thought to herself. _C'mon. C'mon._

Three minutes felt like three eternities as Chloe sat there trying not to look at the stick. It was ridiculous. There was no way. She wasn't even late. Was she? She'd been so busy...God, was she? Her stomach twisted, but this time the nausea wasn't from whatever it was she had. Nerves. Chloe closed her eyes and forced herself to breathe evenly. Then, inhaling deeply through her nose, she looked down.

 _Pregnant_.

"Oh shit."

 **Hey folks! Sorry if this seems a bit rushed. I was super excited to get something out. I promise things will get better. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. Please leave a review if you have a moment. It really does let me know if you are interested and, in turn, keeps me writing. Until next time! -Jen**


	2. PART ONE (Chapter One: The First Seal)

**Thank you all so much! I super appreciate your reviews, alerts, favorites, and generally reading the story at all! So it'll make sense as the story goes on, but there will be three parts, each with seven chapters dedicated to it. ALL WILL BE ON THE SAME FANFICTION STORY. There will not be multiple stories for each part. Just wanted to make that clear/ See, each part follows the steps leading up to the Bible's Armageddon. The first is the Seven Seals, the next the Seven Trumpets, and finally, the Seven Bowls...then, well...Armageddon. This story isn't about the Book of Revelations, I just thought it'd be a fun little way to structure things! Now, as promised, here's the next installment! (Also, this chapter is basically setting up for a scene so don't worry, there will be LOTS of conversation and interactions coming up!)**

 **PART ONE**

 **The Seven Seals**

 **Chapter One: The First Seal**

Rosemary's Baby had the honor of being the first to go. Why she owned that damn movie to begin with, she wasn't sure. But it was soon joined in the trash by both versions of The Omen. The irony of her preferred entertainment genre was almost laughable. Almost. And without a second thought or consideration that the trash was mostly empty, Chloe yanked the garbage bag out and tied the plastic draw strings together. There was no hesitation as she threw it to the sidewalk, knowing full well that the trash collectors were long since gone. At least the damn tapes wouldn't be in her house silently mocking her from their spot on the shelf.

She'd long forgotten her appetite, if there had even been one present after her unexpected, store bought diagnosis. Her precious eggs and cookie dough were left to fend for themselves on the kitchen counter as Chloe went about pacing. The nausea was back. It wasn't what she now knew had been morning sickness, but rather the heavy sense of queasiness brought on by anxiety. And it was relentlessly making its presence known much to the already beaten down detective's chagrin.

Out of the countless women he'd slept with, how in hell did he manage to knock her up? Protection her ass. Of course his demonic super sperm would assault one of her eggs. Invading her womb, forming an embryo that had suctioned itself god knows where. Not only did she have Lucifer, but now she had a little him inside of her. Probably already scheming ways to team up with its father once it grew big enough to make its presence really known…

It was then she froze, breath catching in her throat, chest muscles tightening. Lucifer. Baby. His baby. Their baby. Oh shit, she was having his kid! Her mind was clicking as it shoved the brooding thoughts out of the way so a new wave could take over. Realization. Panic. Shock. Fear. Oh god, what was she going to say to Lucifer?! How would he even take the news?! She hadn't even thought of that until now. Granted, she _had_ just learned she was pregnant, but still. Shit. Double shit. Triple shit. Infinity shit.

The only relief that grasped at her now was the fact that Maze wasn't currently home. She didn't need the other woman's "opinions" and snide remarks at that moment. Well, preferably, never. But it was Maze and telling her anything of interest was like opening Pandora's box. For now, she appreciated what little peace there was. After all, she had so many other things bombarding her battered brain.

Dan. He'd be _fun_ to tell. Her former partner. Ex-husband. Father to her first born. Telling him would be an experience. There was already heavy tension over the fact that she was dating Lucifer. Even more so since Lucifer took any given chance to poke and prod at "Detective Douche" with how "great" and "fantastic" she was in bed. If anyone deserved the title of being a douche, Lucifer would be bestowed that and far worse. Depending on how everything turned out with this, she couldn't even begin to imagine how many ways the Devil Himself would use this fuel. Yep. There was absolutely no doubt that Dan was quite possibly the hardest to share this newly gathered information with-after Lucifer, of course.

Trixie would be the easily. Thank Christ for that. The kid loved Lucifer, far sooner than she did. She had always wanted a sibling since the day she could actually talk and hold an understandable conversation. The memories of the young girl pretending her stuffed animals were her younger brothers or sisters made it impossible for Chloe not to crack a small smile. The day she had given birth to her daughter was, without a doubt, the best day in her life. And for a brief second, the thought of having another child hit Chloe hard with emotion. Her eyes watered and she vigorously tried to wipe the tears away. Damn hormones.

Linda, Ella, and her mother were the least of her worries. Amenadiel could be grouped in there too. Charlotte would be interesting. There was some shared animosity between them. The woman had, after all, succeeded in letting the man who murdered her father walk free. Maze and Dan had taken care of that, but that still didn't make what had transpired forgivable. But she was Lucifer's mother, as weird as it was to accept, and that made her, dare she even mentally say it, _family_.

Her head was aching, possible from a self induced migraine from all of the stress. Exhaustion had begun to chip away at the former wall of adrenaline. Sleep. That seemed welcoming. Maybe this all would turn out to be nothing more than a horrible nightmare. She knew that wasn't the case, but to hell with it if it would help her fall asleep. As awfully as she felt, both physically and mentally, the need to escape reality was a literal vacation.

She forwent changing out of her work clothes the moment she entered into the dark bedroom. At this point, compared to everything else she was dealing with, it didn't even cross Chloe's mind. The detective collapsed onto her mattress, not even bothering to pull the covers over herself. She felt hot anyway. Again, damn hormones. Chloe shut her eyes and tried not to focus on anything-a task that was not easy. Maybe things would have turned in her favor. At least that was what she hoped for. And she used that wish to focus on, not fighting the tendrils of sleep pull her away into unconsciousness.

Without warning, Chloe jolted upright in her bed. At first, she wasn't clear what prompted it. A nightmare? She couldn't recall having one. Needing to use the bathroom? There was that, but the need to urinate wasn't that severe. It's then, when Chloe finally looked across the room to the opposite side of her bed, did a third wave of nausea hit her. A tsunami in comparison to the previous two.

"Are a round of congratulations in order?"

Maze sat on a chair in dead center to Chloe's line of vision. She didn't even need a moment to process the white stick the other woman gripped between a sheet of toilet paper as she waved it around like a flag. Dammit.

"Mazel tov!"

And it took every ounce of remaining energy for Chloe to hold herself back from kicking in the grinning demon's pearly white teeth. No matter how tempted she was.

 **I hope this was entertaining! As promised, there will be a lot of actual conversation in the next chapter. If you could take a moment of your time to leave a review, it seriously does mean a lot. Short or long, I greatly appreciate all. Well, until next time, folks! -Jen**


	3. Chapter Two: The Second Seal

**Super sorry for nearly not updating for a month. I have no excuses. Thank you so, so much for all of you who have reviewed, made a favorite, and/or followed this story so far! Here comes the next chapter!**

 **Chapter Two: The Second Seal**

"Just so you know, my room's off limits to becoming a nursery," Maze smirked, not at all silenced by her roommate's stare of death. "But maybe we could shove it in the closet…"

"Maze."

"Or in the kitchen! Forget a crib, we can repurpose the bottom shelf of the oven! Lucifer is from Hell after all, so there is a fifty percent chance your spawn will be immune to fire."

"Maze."

"If it isn't, you can just make a new one right? Humans are good at repopulating."

"Maze!"

Finally the demon fell silent, her eyes now completely focused on Chloe's very evident expression of irritation. But instead of making Maze feel a pinch of regret for her reaction to the news of Chloe's non-immaculate conception, the demon's grin only stretched wider. You can take a demon out of Hell, but you can't take the Hell out of a demon. By now, one would think the detective would be used to her friend's flawed personality. And in a way she was. But in another way she wasn't.

"I'm not…" Chloe exhaled, averting her gaze from Maze. "Lucifer…" She shook her head, breathing sharply through her nose. "I'm not putting my baby to sleep in an oven. Especially not when you get up in the middle of the night to make a pizza...and nine and half times out of ten you don't even take it out of the box."

"Hey," Maze held up a finger. "I only caused three fires and I put them out before they spread."

"I put them out!" Chloe argued. "You just...I...never mind."

At this point, she wanted nothing more than to fall back to sleep. Or wake up and this all be a nightmare. The latter, of course, was the more desirable option. But there would be none of that now that her literal hellion of a friend knew her little secret. Christ, if things couldn't get any worse. Her head had begun to hurt as the nausea made its unwelcomed reappearance. Easing herself out of bed, Chloe roughly plucked the test out of Maze's hand and attempted to toss it into the bedside trashcan. Of course, since life itself was apparently against her, it completely missed the intended target and smacked against the wall. Chloe didn't bother to retrieve it.

"We're not going to talk about this anymore," she muttered, voice too weary to sound threatening. "And you aren't going to mention this to anyone. Especially Lucifer. Or I'll…" Chloe sighed, her headache only worsening the situation at hand. "I'll...think of something…"

She was already in the bathroom before Maze had a moment to respond. Stomach twisting, she gripped the edges of the sink, trying to square breathe with the hopes of not getting sick. Thankfully, after a long minute, the queasiness subsided enough for Chloe to feel confident that she could return to her bed without the risk of puking.

By the time she reentered her room, Maze was nowhere to be seen. At least the demon had the decency to know when to call it quits. With a deep exhale, Chloe collapsed onto the mattress. Between the headache and added stress-thanks to Maze-exhaustion weighed heavily on the detective with surprising strength. One moment she had felt wide awake from the anxiety brought on by her roommate's discovery of her pregnancy, and the next like...well, this. Either unable to fight it or unwilling to, Chloe allowed the tendrils of unconsciousness pull her under and away from the realm of reality.

 _It was the sharp pain that immediately brought Chloe to. Like a two-pronged pitchfork heated with fire, something was pressing against the inside of her abdomen. Or someone. The urge to cry out ached in Chloe's chest, but no matter how hard she tried, no sound escaped. To her horror, when she attempted to struggle, Chloe couldn't even move._

 _From her prison, she could only look upwards and try to make out her surroundings. Straining her eyes, Chloe managed to figure out she was in some sort of room. A very, very dark room that was only lit by a circle of candles-whose lights were almost swallowed by the blackness. It was then she heard footsteps. Not one set. Not two. But several._

 _Suddenly, where there had once been empty space, a group of hooded people surrounded the detective from her place of helplessness. Whether it was due to the lack of light, their cloaks, or-god forbid, an absence of faces, Chloe was left paralyzed and silent to her captors. Heart pounding, pain growing worse in her stomach, a second, new noise met her ears. Chanting._

 _The language was not something she recognized. Latin? Aramaic? Something else? Wide eyed, she tried to look to each shrouded figure with as much desperation as she could muster. But it proved useless and she could only lie there incapacitated as their voices grew in volume. By now, the pain was unbearable, almost like she was being torn apart from the inside._

 _"Sulphuris et ignis a Deo de terra."_

 _Of the many occupants, Chloe's gaze landed on the one who spoke. Until now, she hadn't realized how much he-or it-stood out from the others. Tall, thin, he clutched something in his hand that she couldn't quite make out. Dizzy from fear and pain, she continued to remain helpless._

 _"Laudamus te regulae servi tui, et benedicat vobis in salutem populi tui primogenita vendidisset," the deep voice continued. "De pugione a sanguine terrestrium et falsis mulier de igne et sulphure: et non receperint ipsi devote puero tuo. Benedicite sit, Deus!"_

 _It's then that the cloaked man revealed the object he had been clutching so dearly...a twisted, sharp knife. No, not a knife. A dagger. It had not been created with the intent of being a cooking device. No. It was clear to Chloe the thing had been made for one thing, and the idea of its purpose turned fear into utter terror._

 _The detective tried once more to move, straining to force her muscles to work through the pain in her lower stomach. The man bearing the dagger now held it raised over the general area of Chloe's womb, another member pulling back the cloth of her outfit to expose her pale skin. The scream caught in her throat made it feel as if her lungs were close to bursting. And, unable to do anything but stay silent and still, she can only watch as the figure brings the blade down hard._

The amount of air that filled Chloe's lungs as she snapped awake almost hurt her chest. It didn't help that her heart was pounding from the nightmare adrenaline rush. Even though she knew it was silly, her eyes still scanned around the room, making sure that it truly had been nothing more than a dream. No cloaked people. No knives. No stabbed stomach. She exhaled, shaking slightly before turning her attention to the alarm clock.

9:00 A.M.

Shit.

She was supposed to be at work an hour ago. A full hour. Never had she been late-at least, not to this extent or without giving any sort of prior knowledge. Shooting out of bed, Chloe hurried into the bathroom and tried to make herself as presentable as one is able to in less than five minutes. Unshowered, hair somewhat in disarray, Chloe rushed out of her room, all the while trying to pretend she doesn't feel the nausea that has begun to unsettle in her gut.

"Detective!"

Just like that, Chloe's heart skipped a beat as her eyes fell upon the man standing by the front door. Smiling, obviously oblivious, Lucifer met Chloe's stare, clearly not noticing the look of panic that has masked her face. He stepped forward and the detective also noted that, by the kitchen, Maze has positioned herself against the wall. She's smirking, but by Lucifer's expression, she hadn't told him Chloe's current state. Of course, Maze would ultimately want something in return for her "friendship job" but that wasn't her concern right now. Still, this did nothing to help the anxiety she felt, and certainly added that much more to the bile that was bubbling in her stomach.

Attempting to straighten herself up, she forced a smile on her face. Currently, her body was having a civil war with itself, and Chloe almost had to bite her tongue to keep from gagging. Lucifer brow furrowed, expression growing slightly serious and concerned. With one hand gripping the edge of the counter top, and the other touching her mouth, the detective swayed. She didn't even notice that Maze was now at her side, grabbing awkwardly at her hair to keep it out of her face. Lucifer took a few steps closer, no longer showing any of his usual charm and uppity attitude. Instead, his features were etched with worry.

"Chloe?"

And, as if in a crudely humorous response, she vomited everywhere.

 **I hope this chapter was worth the wait! I enjoyed writing this one. I can't decide if Lucifer will find out next chapter or not (by not, Chloe claiming she has a stomach bug or whatever). I dunno, what do you guys think? Also the Latin phrases are probably very much wrong (it's been years since I took Latin and I tried to use a site for help. Definitions for the chants are below). Please, if you have a moment, leave me a review! It means a lot and keeps this story going. Anyway, until next time! -Jen**

 **Sulphuris et ignis a Deo de terra:** "God of the sulfur and fiery land"

 **Laudamus te regulae servi tui, et benedicat vobis in salutem populi tui primogenita vendidisset:** "We praise you, servants of your rule, and bless upon you the deliverance of your firstborn"

 **De pugione a sanguine terrestrium et falsis mulier de igne et sulphure: et non receperint ipsi devote puero tuo. Benedicite sit, Deus!:** "From the blood of earthly woman and dagger forged from fire and brimstone, we welcome and devote ourselves to your child. Bless it be, God!"


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